Found this in a blog and thought I'd share it, makes you think.LG                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Friday, November 25, 2011
Internalized Sexism and Externalized Hate
By Kelly Jameson

 Internalized Misandry, Causes of Boy-on-Boy Hate similar ? Internalized sexism stems from the messages and stereotypes we hear about women and girls all the time: Women are catty, they’re bitches, they’re frivolous, they’re flighty, they have to be passive, they have to gentle, they are overly emotional, etc. Eventually, because these messages are so ingrained in our culture that some women begin to believe that they are undoubtedly true.
There are different forms of internalized sexism, such as passive acceptance of these messages, a mixture of acceptance and rejection of them, or retaliation of these messages. The experiences of each woman who carries internalized misogyny are different, yet they all stem from some form of acceptance of the constant bombardment of mixed messages and stereotypes about being a girl/woman.
One consequence of mass internalized sexism is girl-on-girl hate, something I’m sure most of us are familiar with. Instead of rallying together and talking about how the stereotypes are harmful or how they’re misguided or downright wrong, many women who harbor internalized sexism believe that it’s every other woman but them who perpetuate the stereotypes and fall prey to sexist messages. These women, therefore, are more likely to take what they perceive to be the “male” side of things and devalue the opinions and feelings of women around them in order to separate themselves from all of the negative aspects of womanhood and femininity. And that’s when internalized misogyny becomes a tool that let’s women do sexism’s job for it. Who needs a patriarchy when you can have women devaluing each other and refusing to support each other and Femininity? L G

L G, also thinks this is why many woman in the western world attack the transgender community , and follow the male thinking as to stereotypes that are harmful and misguided and why they attack and devalue Femininity in them self and in males who are transgender.

Kelly, I grew up with a notorious penchant for what I now know was internalized misogyny. Since I was five-years-old, I thought that being a girl meant being weak, mean, and stupid. I don’t know where it came from, but it somehow entered into my mind.
The form of internalized misogyny I held basically went like this: Being a girl meant being weak, mean, and stupid. So to be the opposite of those things, I had to disassociate myself from other girls as much as possible.
L G and disassociate from Femininity.  

Kelly,
This idea seemed easy to me since I’ve always been a tomboy. I played Hotwheels instead of Barbies, I played video games and engaged in a mostly-male gaming culture from a very young age, I was usually the only girl in my neighborhood and hung out with all the boys. However, from the middle of elementary school to the middle of high school, I pushed myself to be as much of a boy as I could be. In order to feel like I could be free from being a girl - which as we’ve established, I thought meant being weak, mean, and stupid - tried to be an “equal” to the boys and ignored girls and their opinions entirely and Femininity.

 Kelly, Looking back, the most upsetting aspect about it was that I thought that by being a “boy” as much as possible I was actually being a “better girl” because I was fighting against the stereotypes of girls that had always bothered me.  But really, my self-worth still depended on what boys thought of me, and not what I thought about myself. I judged other girls for being feminine when they were really just being themselves, and it didn’t harm anyone or anything but my distorted ego.  All I was really doing was externalizing the hatred I had towards myself and my gender by “proving” how I wasn’t like my gender at all and shaming other girls.

In sophomore year of high school, I began to realize what I was doing and that I was not some kind of trailblazer for my gender at all: Internalized sexism made me a tool of my own oppression by devaluing my female peers and women in general, just as it does to other women everywhere. After that realization, I declared myself a feminist almost overnight, and strove to undo the damage I had done to myself and my peers.

Overcoming internalized sexism is not easy and certainly hasn’t been easy for me; it’s a complicated process of challenging and critiquing without attacking other women, questioning sexist stereotypes before trying to remove myself from them, placing more value on my relationships with other women, unlearning that is femininity bad. It’s all hard to unlearn, but it’s necessary in order to rise above the messages.

Some people’s experience with internalized misogyny are similar and some are different. However, the staple of internalized misogyny remains the same: No matter what you do, when you start to believe the sexist messages and stereotypes that are thrown at you, you do sexism’s work for itself. The problem with this is twofold. One in where it leads, and one in what it misses.

Where does it lead? Solidarity, but not the good kind. The inevitable end to this is the idea that a woman shouldn’t criticize other women simply because it’s “sexism” regardless if critical thinking would actually validate that. This is the problem with modern feminism, in fact: Because they are unwilling to sacrifice solidarity they end up with a movement doing little in the way of good that’s been hijacked by bigoted radicals.

What does it miss? Unfortunately, the obvious. Like most other commentaries on the subject, it fails to even remotely acknowledge that these issues apply to men as well. In fact, this kind of internalized sexism is rampant among men. The only difference is the degree, as masculinity has basically been completely hijacked by it.   Most people actually think that this internalized sexism is masculinity. It’s so invaded the collective psyche that in many ways it’s basically supplanted the original concept. Not a mention. Really sad, for what was otherwise generally quite a well-written post. You made good points, albeit failing to consider and address where they could lead. A discussion of how this kind of thing affects both genders, with some thought given to the possible consequences I’d really laud something like that. Ah well.

There’s one more conclusion that I can draw from this line of thinking. Maybe I’m grasping at straws, but it seems to me that this person believes that FtM transgendered persons are solely the product of Internalized Sexism. She implies that girls who “want to be a boy”, are only doing it because they hate women. This is offensive on so many levels, and I would’ve let it slide seeing as how she’s drawing this example from herself, but no. She’s trying to apply it to all FAaBs. And I wonder, does she extend the same “if you want to be the ‘opposite’ gender, you just hate yourself and everyone like you” logic to MtFs? Do boys who “want to be girls” just suffer from internalized Misandry? In this mind set, does Gender Identity Disorder, and Transgenderism fit in anywhere? Like I said, maybe I’m grasping at straws. This might not be the case with this person, personally. But at least this will give her the chance to clarify herself.